Choose wisely

There’s this thought in my mind that’s being prompting me to write. It’s about us, we humans that fall under the category of Homo sapiens. Before proceeding further, let me bring it your notice that I’m no psychology student. I’m just a deep thinker so I’m sharing here my perspective based on my experiences as your fellow human.

According to the Oxford Dictionary, a Human Being is a man, woman, or child of the species Homo sapiens, distinguished from other animals by superior mental development, power of articulate speech, and upright stance. Sounds like a compliment, isn’t it? Well it’s true as humans are the most advanced form of all creatures. In this vast human population of 7 billion, each of us is distinct. So think about human behavior. Even in case of identical twins, there will always be innumerous traits that distinguish the twins. Although there are lots of external factors that determine behavior, yet the main entity responsible is the DNA. Studies reveal that there are 8,324,608 possible combinations of 23 chromosome pairs, where each chromosome contains dozens to thousands of different genes. The total possible combination of alleles for those genes in humans is approximately 70,368,744,177,664.  This is trillions of times more combinations than the number of people who have ever lived. So think how distinct the behavior of each and every human being is. As a result, the ideas that arise in each of us will also be different and new. That’s one of the main factors that contribute towards the development and crime rate at the same time. Now, I need not brief you about the all the developments that took place over the millenniums as then this blog might turn into a list of facts that you are aware about. So let me show you the other side of the coin – crime, which means the negative human behavior. Now I’m not going to talk about the crime rates or how prisoners land up where they are. This blog is about an aspect most of us know about people we come across every day, and how we choose to ignore those small things that can land us in trouble.

After reading those huge figures, you may have questions like “How do I know who’s the good guy and the bad guy?” or “How do I know whom to trust?” or “What’s the guarantee that this person I trust doesn’t have another side?”, and many more. Well I may not be able to answer all your questions, but I surely say one thing, follow my “When bad side” rule and that is, every good person on this Earth will have a bad side, all you need to know is when and to whom is that bad side revealed. This is a common point to be noted, irrespective of what your question is. Now going back to those three questions, let me guide you through the first question i.e., “How do I know who’s the good guy and the bad guy?” Just keep in mind these following life-changing points, especially when you make a new friend:

  1. Accountability/Blame-game – Check how responsible are they for their actions, especially when they create a problem. See if they play the blame-game, don’t think twice if they accuse someone whom you trust and are innocent. Now blaming someone related to it to a small percent is acceptable. In short, check if they blame someone for 95% and the rest 5% on themselves or the vice-versa.
  2. Their attitude towards your loved ones – Pay attention to the way they react when you talk about your friends or spouse. Look out for signs such as not showing interest whenever you talk about them without any reason, reacting in a negative way. Here’s a simple activity for those who need further clarification, invite that person over to meet your friends or your spouse and check the following:
  • The way that they respond to your invitation.
  • If they shows any genuine interest in talking to your friend/spouse.
  • The way they react to whatever your friend/spouse’s statement.
  • The type of conversation going on between them.
  1. Their attitude towards you – Notice the way they refers you as. Try discussing about some situation and analyze the kind of solution they give. That speaks a lot about the character.
  2. Their attitude towards their friends/their reputation – Check the way they behave among their peer. Do not give a blind eye to the reputation they have.

These four points are my answer to the first question. Now you’ll get the answer to the second question i.e. “How do I know whom to trust”, automatically once you get those above four points sorted out. Time for the last question i.e. “What’s the guarantee that this person I trust doesn’t have another side?” Let me reframe this question to “What’s the guarantee that the person I trust doesn’t show the bad side to me?” This can also be answered in these simple steps:

  1. Follow “When bad side” rule – For those who forgot, here’s the rule, “Every good person on this Earth will have a bad side, all you need to know is when and to whom is that bad side revealed.”
  2. Check for changes – Since you know the person you trust well enough, check for CONSISTENT attitude changes (obviously the bad ones), some of them include avoidance or a third person whom you’re suspicious about. Analyze their reaction and the explanation for their change when you confront them.

P.S. Do not doubt all the time for every small thing as that can cause unnecessary problems, value trust and emphasize on the word CONSISTENT as well.

There may be many more solutions but these are what I feel is important. Now I’m not a person who feels there are no good humans, there are good humans too but remember, as long there’s good, there’s evil, but it’s on you to overcome evil with good.

Love and stay safe!